New Blog http://downinthatgrass.blogspot.com/
I will no longer be posting to WordPress.
haha.
fickle.
June 20, 2009
June 18, 2009
Not sure when/where he said this – I actually saw it on someone’s Facebook. It may have been during the campaign, but whenever it was it is so true.
“We may not agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country. The reality of gun ownership may be different for hunters in rural Ohio than they are for those plagued by gang-violence in Cleveland, but don’t tell me we can’t uphold the Second Amendment while keeping AK-47s out of the hands of criminals. I know there are differences on same-sex marriage, but surely we can agree that our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters deserve to visit the person they love in the hospital and to live lives free of discrimination. You know, passions may fly on immigration, but I don’t know anyone who benefits when a mother is separated from her infant child or an employer undercuts American wages by hiring illegal workers. But this, too, is part of America’s promise — the promise of a democracy where we can find the strength and grace to bridge divides and unite in common effort.” -President Obama
June 16, 2009
i carry your heart with me
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
ee cummings
June 16, 2009
It has been a while, and for this, I am truly sorry.
“We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.” 1 John 4:19-20
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean.In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.” Matt. 23:27-28
This was a ten-minute write that came out of some emotions. I kinda like it… 
Claustrophobic
Sitting in a hard pew
And a cross glowing
Above the baptismal
Praying it will penetrate
My skin which is now hard too
I wait
Through a simple sermon
And ancient hymns
And pronouns that reference
God as “him”
Sit and stand as one
But minds elsewhere
Repetitive music driving emotion
Hands driving through the ceiling
Harsh words driving fear
Surrounded by
Long faces, unworthy of the love of
God whose very nature is love
But God has trouble loving
Because they drink and smoke
They come with baggage
Honestly and with humility
A man, robed in biblical language and culture
A role model to the masses
He knows what they must not do
And what they should do
Is exactly as himself
Watch and learn as he earns
A hundred thousand not feeding the hungry
Or caring for the orphans and widows
Yes, he knows
The people are not smart enough to read it for themselves
Jesus wanted lawyers in the house of God.
June 16, 2009
April 7, 2009
On Sunday, March 30, 2009, I went to Wal-Mart around midnight. My college is in an itsy-bitsy town (with a 2 mile radius and 1 traffic light). Residents have to drive about twenty minutes to get to the Wal-Mart in the next town. The town with the Wal-Mart has a pretty high crime rate based on its population. Venturing out at night, especially alone, is not a bright move, but it is one I make on a fairly regular basis. I do not typically get nervous in those situations – at the most, I may get a little uncomfortable. That night, though, I was talking to a friend on the phone and we were joking about my “bravery” and then about how to defend yourself; I realized that I know very little about self-defense, and what I do know came from sitcoms and a few discussions from working in the inner-city. I do not believe that self-defense classes, especially those targeted for women, are very effective because strength will win the majority of the time, not to discount every class – I am sure they are at least somewhat helpful. Anyway, I digress. When we hung up the phone, at about 12:40 a.m., I was walking to check out and I was a little nervous because of the conversation I had just had.
During my walk to the check-out, a man made eye contact with me. I watched him pass by, and then he stopped. He was looking at me, so I stopped too.
“You are very, very, beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you a student?”
“Yes”
“At Gardner-Webb?”
“Yes”
“What are you studying?”
“Religious studies.”
“Really?! (drawn out, interested). My name is Frederick Sebastian ___, and I am a professional writer.”
“Melissa.” (We shake hands.)
“Well, Melissa, have you ever heard of Jim and Tammy or of David Karesh?”
“Of course I have”
“Well, they were on the serving the Lord just like you are but they let people and power get in the way of that. You need to stay away from all of that.”
”Of course.”
“You are weird. You don’t fit in. People think you’re strange.”
“Thanks?”
“You are always going to stick out for the things that you do, but you have to remember who you are and who’s you are and you will be fine. You need to be yourself, no matter what anyone thinks. You will make mistakes, but everything will work out. Sometimes people say mean things to you, things you would never say to them. Your family even says things to you that you don’t understand. You need to know that only you can determine your happiness. Stop being melancholy and be proactive in your happiness. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you aren’t good enough. You are good enough.”
We went back in forth in this vain of thought, and then he made me repeat him some and then we went back to the last paragraph again. Some of the things he made me repeat were things like:
“I am the only person who can decide if I am going to be happy.”
“When this conversation is over I am still going to be better.”
Etc.
All of this was loosely quoted, but this was about what it was like. There were at least six sentences he made me repeat. It was interesting, because a lot of the long paragraph was pretty particular to me. He made me repeat at least six sentences. He had a lot to say, and a lot of it seemed pretty bogus to me – saying that Satan puts people into our lives who doubt us and make us doubt ourselves. I mean, that’s true (I don’t know about the Satan part), and I think that, whether or not it’s bogus, it was still something I needed to hear. In that moment, I really needed a reminder that I am the determiner of my happiness, that I can be strong in the decisions I make.
Sebastian told me that he was moving to CA to have his book published and to write for television.
And we parted with,
“You are very, very beautiful. Don’t forget who you are.”
I won’t, Sebastian. I promise.
And these random happenings are why I miss the city so much.
April 4, 2009
I went to Toronto with the Center for Student Missions for a week in 2005 to work in the inner-city. Each morning, my group would go to a men’s shelter and sit with the men at breakfast. Then, they would leave for the day, and we would make all 200 and something beds. During breakfast, I built a relationship with Ren. Who knew this trip and Ren especially would have such an impact on my life? It was a big part of me interning with CSM in D.C. last summer and now, in my pursuit of social work as a career.
Anyway, I was going through some of my old emails and this is one I found:
****
On Monday, I met a man at the homeless shelter named Ren. He was from St. Vincent and was really nice and really smart. We talked about faith and music and writing. We had so much in common. We even listen to the same kinds of music. Anywho, I talked to him again on Wednesday with Diana and he showed me a couple of songs that he had written. I asked if I could copy them down. I did that on Thursday. I have pictures of me and him and Diana.
Ren’s Poetry/Songs:
STEP BY STEP
On a rugged road I’m traveling
Unto glory land
I’ve got troubles in my pathway
As I go along,
But I’m moving
(Chorus)
Step by step
I’m moving on and on
Step by step
I’m moving on and on
Step by step
I’m moving on and on
I’ve had trials and temptations,
Pain and sorrows too,
But one thing is for certain
Faith will see me through
So I’m moving (step by step)
When I get to glory
I’ll receive a crown
And treasures waiting for me,
When all is said and done.
And I’m moving (step by step)
One day I’ll reach my destination,
Leave my troubles far behind
It’ll be joy and satisfaction,
To know it’s worth it,
And not a waste of time.
Step by step
Step by step (x8)
LEND A HELPING HAND
As I walk down in the valley,
A long life’s way,
I behold the poor and helpless
Dying every day
Can someone tell me
Who really cares more
Enough to show more interest
In our fellow man’s welfare
There are millions of people starving,
And the hungry ones are dying
Day by day, they have little food to eat,
And they have no place to sleep.
(chorus)
Let us lend a helping hand
Let us do the best we can
Remember we are on creation,
So let us lend a helping hand.
The children of tomorrow;
I hear their cry
They need love and affection,
And comfort day and night.
In pain and sorrows
They fade and die,
Because of no attention,
And essential things in life.
There are millions of children starving,
And the hungry ones are dying
Day by day, they have little food to eat
And they have no place to sleep.
Reaching out
And showing a little kindness,
Will help the world to see
That someone cares.
A little love
Will help to change the sadness
Of those in need of what life has to share.
and i wrote one as well. it’s not terribly good, but it’s good enough for me. haha.
written July 21, 2005
GOD IS IN THIS CITY
Walking through the streets, I hear the sounds of this city
As the man beside me holds out his hand for an act of pity
Amidst the noise I ask if my God is real
And, in my soul, I hear, “peace, my child, be still”
For he is in the sandwich we made for the man
And in the smiles and in the shaking hands
He gives hope to those who are battered and weak
Strength to go on, stand, and speak
God is with the child with no where to go
And with the ones in the shadows, the ones we don’t know
God is with those selling themselves for drugs
And in the comfort of a smile, a blessing, a hug
God is with the enslaved ones in this city
And with us as we cry our tears of pity
And in the helplessness of the words we pray
As we see these things along the way
And as we travel, God is there
In our minds, our hearts, everywhere
And even in these streets, God is real
And my heart is at peace, I am still.
March 10, 2009
Will you stand with me
As I tear down these walls
Or will you follow the crowd,
The majority,
Out of agreement or apathy?
Will you march with me
To the doors of the Capitol
Rattle the cage of the status quo
And storm the gates of hell?
Rich, white, businessmen
Using fancy boats to purchase votes
That oppress the minority
Trading lives for dollar signs
The Kingdom of God is not
The United States
Its message is that of
Inclusive love
It does not put souls in cages
For minimum wages
And English is not required
For hire
It does not blame those on welfare
Before it questions the systems
That got them there;
Because who wouldn’t want to be
A rich, white, businessman
Who can buy votes for their cause
And trade boats for laws
That keep them on top?
I am a citizen of the Kingdom
A Kingdom that feeds the hungriest
First
And gives the last drop
To those who thirst
Gives the breaks where they are needed
Because much is required of those
To whom much has been given
But I’m just preaching to the choir
Because only the choir listens
Dual citizenship in opposition
My allegiance is to the Kingdom of God
Alone
Until this country changes its tone
I am angry
Knocking over tables outside the Temple
We’ve taken advantage of the poor -
Sinful
I pledge allegiance to hope and equality
Praying for new morals
In the “Moral Majority”
Bringing the Kingdom about
With a shout like a dove
And an outstretched hand
Of inclusive love.
March 9, 2009
March 5, 2009
North Carolina Democrats block a vote on a marriage amendment (despite a Conservative Christian rally!). I knew I elected them for a reason!
This article from the Associated Press can be found on various websites.
Let’s keep it off the ballot. The rights of the minority should never be up to a majority vote! North Carolinians, EqualityNC makes it easier for you to contact your legislators! Citizens in other states, check the Equality Federation link on the side of this page to find out about what you can do. They can send you emails with stock letters, which you can change!
Get involved, even if it seems like a little!
March 4, 2009
I have changed a few aspects of this page.
I have added links and categories for those links; I changed my “about me” and some other aspects, obviously including the theme.
I will leave the blogs that I have already posted, but I hope that this will be a place where I can discuss some of the goings-on in the world, as well as my personal journey of reconciliation. Faith, social justice, and life are just some of things into which I will be digging my teeth.
